heard this from ying yue re ji, got this thru sms....nice nice :)

hate myself for putting in the effort to make frens
hate myself for talking so much
hate myself to pretend, or maybe i tot i was, amicable
hate myself for seeing them as superficial frens
hate myself for waving to my OGL, for talking to my fellow OG-members today
hate myself for being disappointed for wad i m
hate myself for feeling lost
hate myself for shouting cheers
hate myself for having emotions
hate myself for being subservient*to a certain extent* to my emotions

"am i a superficial friend to you?" im in doubt too, me towards u, u towards me, *ditto for everyone else*who is superficial? time can determine.

*sorry, im not in a joking mood tonite....*

her life is withering...
after many long years of tormention under merciless cancer that sown upon her...
health robbed from her many years ago, nevertheless, she held on onto the colours and humanities of the earthy world.
mum said that the doctors arent giving her any food nor drinks, as she cant swallow. that will be her way of dying.
of a mere 70 years of age, she laid helplessly on the bed, conscious of her decided fate.

if there is really a heaven, a paradise, may she find her way there asap.
and as the chinese tradition goes, burn piles of "money" for them, bungalows, cars, enjoy her live in aother world. please, let her do so.
not that i am close to her, nor do i know how to address her, nor did i see her more than what the fingers can count, but her presence, and the somewhat relation in our blood, we are deeply rooted together. RIP.

quiet bunch of pple!
pple from unity, stc, ccks, tchs, stc, scgs*me!*, etc...and someone from dunno wad sch tt wears a mac's uniform look-alike! hahaha...the bright red top and black pants....
oops:y r they so un-boisterous, so un-gregarous....lol
fortunately. theres one "on" person w me...lol...qiu ling from ccks.... :)
fun on monday i suppose, more noise n cheers hopefully:)
dun mind getting a sore throat for more fun, do u?

and....im awaiting for monday!! to confirm if the sheng gao person in my OG is wt's fren! wahahahaha....
meryl! if u read this, sheng gao is the supposed wt's bf...rumours r rumours :P*wt, dun get angry*

hmm.....
so...i have to go appeal for more tortures for myself
appeal to take fmaths
appeal to take 4 subj
so, heres wad they said...
(1)at least an A2 for both maths---my complains:but i got B3 for amaths, one more pathetic mark and i cld have gotten A2...and, ive been rather consistently good in amaths, onli for tt prelim exam tt ive gotten such lousy grades!
(2)get below 12 for L1R5 in order to take 4 subjs---my complains:i got 12 exactly...yeah, how great....DOTS!

pls tell me tt im determined to take fmaths.....

frequent my blog so often!??! lol
my bro shoes ah....yuck! gruesome!
i gave up washing away all the mud, they are so stubborn!
my bro hor...went running last sat, forgets to wash shoes everyday till today and made me wash for him!
lol....din do a clean job either, but ive tried:)

have to wash bro's mud shoes!! filthy leh! real dirty!!
not that im angry, nor wei3 qu1....dunno...
but....itis gross!
that gruelling task ll begin now :(

i feel similar to wt's youngest bro...compelled to wash shoes for elder siblings!!*evil wt :P*

go to angelfire
go create a free account. upload ur fotos.
go view it, get the url, then type <img src="URL"> ...yeap
kayx...my show started le...tata :)
btw, u might need to edit ur fotos to the correct size in those photoshop first, or else u might end up a super big foto in ur blog, ruining ur whole blog...lol

heres the pic tt we took on 26dec...w/o britt, yeah....

l-r:wt, robyn, fel, meryl, me, smo.
hahaha...rmmber the 2011 thing hor :P

fish's fly away.....copied from someone's blog...finally got it uploaded...
great song! :)

still trying to find sth to load my pics up to and thru there allowing me to post nice pics directly up here...
lol....
wanna slp liao...
slept from 8am to 5pm!! told myself to wake up at 1, but didnt. and cuz of tt, im having headache!!grr....
thanx for the soporific virtual world*stupid monitor screen....*....lol

copied this set "survey" thingy from a blog i frequent.. :) where he copied the Qns from his fren, and blah�....

End of the year. Resolutions, reflections and all. Let's do it a lil more systemetically. First of all, my questionnaire. People who want to do my questionnaire pls scroll down to the below entry, copy all the questions, paste in your blog and do accordingly. Serves as a good summary of reflections and resolutions.

Recall 2003

**Begin all questions with "In year 2003...."

First: the silly questions

1) How did you celebrate your birthday?
hmm....nuthin? thanx for cambridge or rather the MOE for celebrating for me....physcis prac*cant rmmber,isit physics or chem prac?* hmm....had lotsa fun with wt n meryl the day before...lol....just rmmbered, itis physics prac, cuz we were revising physics....the cake, the colourful socks, the bodynits thing*still havent wear it :P*, the pink cat bottle!!*like it loads :)*

2) What's the most expensive thing you've bought?
veri cheap....hmm.....cant rmmber....lol

3) What CDs have you bought?
v lil......syz's onli i guess....and the karaoke cds for mum....

4) Did you celebrate mother's day or father's day?
yeah..kindof....just had dinner outside n stuff....they din celebrate any children's day or youth day with us!! :( haha....but thanx loads to them for raising us, nurturing us......they deserve much more than wad we can ever give em :)

5) Did you get anything for your teachers during teacher's day?
kindof...handmade stuff.....lol.....no money how to buy presents :P

6) What is more significant: The Iraq war or the SARS crisis?
SARS. touches us*or rather me* nearer....and the sch hols we've got from SARS :) n....why they fight!!?! idiot them...

7) How much alcohol did you drink?
who ll buy me some? and wt's "dun drink!!" lol.... dun think bro ll allow me to drink his vodka...

Social / love life next!
9) How many crushes?
hmm....few...lol

10) Have you started a romance?
nah...

11) Have you ended a romance?
no start, how to end? lol

12) Have you valued love more?
love in comparison too?"8. At this moment, you are quite self-centered; you think of love as
something you can get and trash anytime you want."

13) Have you lost friends who have a significant role in your life?
no. but yes if the Q is "have you lost friends who HAD a significant role in ur life"

14) Have you gained friends who have a significant role in your life?
Yes; but i think im losing them gradually...kinda sad, but it is mundane...

15) Have you valued friendship more?
more than wad? i think progressing to jc is a test of my value of friendship....

16) What do you think of IRC as a form of socialisation?
socialisation? im anti-social :)

17) What do you think of clubbing / pubbing as a form of socialisation?
allow me into one first....

18) Do you think you have become a more social person?
er....cooping oneself up at home, living in a world of textbooks with u as the onli human existence, how to get more sociable in tt way?

Memorable moments~
19) What's the most memorable present you have given?
er....me!myself! im the perfect present tt frens wld want to haf :\
k k, seriously, cant rmmber, fel's xmas present*the shirt of the teddy*, the xmas cards*isit counted?*...others, cant rmmber:)

20) What's the most memorable present you have received?
er....hmm....nuthin? most are significantly memorable....

21) Who became the most memorable person in your life?
hmmm.....no one....but many one-s....dgians! love it!

22) What's the most memorable day in your life?
it shld be the day when i feel most accomplished, but i have yet that feeling...lol

23) What's the most memorable thing that has happened?
nothing. im a loser:\ cant rmmber anything now leh...

24) What's the most memorable thing you have learnt?
learnt? van der waals forces between the molecule, left-hand flemming's rule, fine for jay-walking is onli 20 bucks*of course the police arent bo liao enuf to run after u jsut to make u pay 20 bucks rite...*.....im crappy....

25) What's the most memorable thing you have said?
dun rmmber, i've talked too much.

26) What's the most memorable thing you have heard someone say?
"ming tian kai shue le"-tis morn. and "qu ns de qu ns..."-tis morn....aint veri sure of exact wordings...

Four ugly questions...

27) What did you regret the most?
not attempting to appeal to njc, killing every optimistic tot of it*though it ll be a 100% failure...*i dunno...small lil things tt pple need help with, but i didnt come forth....

28) What have you wasted the most time on?
virtual world...being here on the first day of 2004, facing the virtual world, unrealistically.

29) What did you miss the most?
---syz song!!jsut started:) wo bu nan guo!! on radio---lucky i didnt miss tis....i miss the days when my mum wasnt at home, though i have to do the chores n blah�, but i wasnt bombarded with her naggings!!

30) What did you hate the most?
me.

And now: Make a resolution for 2004. Just one.
accomplish something great!*not refering to nobel prizes:P nor topping in studies, etc*

rather not slp than slp for 2 pathetic hrs... :(
yawnzz
tennis was kindof fun...lol...barely any hand-eye coordination...
my brain was too slow to react, or perhaps im born retarded:P
perhaps ive ran 2.4km today:) but i onli counted till 5 rounds*1km*
the squirrel was jogging with me too! :) *k kayx, im thick skin...but the squirrel was realli on e track!-with me*

hmm....dun want to lie to mum on e last day of 2003, just hope she wont question me till that extent...
im a good liar!-if im serious to lie;)

class party was superb!
it nv fail to amuse me with reminiscences of the insicdents in sch.....
��� teasing cel with the ah gong at the table across ours, who is already with 3 other ah ma, of progressingly younger ages, and saying cel is gonna be the 4th wive :\ sorry....
��� the imaginary housefly...making whole lots of fun tricking ms goh
��� and me, ear processing poodle as bulldog....hmm...I NEED TREATMENT FOR MY PATHETIC EARS!!
��� the 3 lines of sweat*seen in jap comics* and the two-hands-up tilting ur body to one side....<--punishment for my blurness....lol
��� and...mr ang's high ego...lol.....was it tt, gladys was laughing and she accidentally poked the pencil lead into her skin?
��� may
��� this
��� list
��� never
��� ends
��� cuz
��� DG
��� is
��� infinitely
��� the
��� epitome
��� of
��� the best, the lovable ones---LOVE IT---

but the tot of ur separating and to nearest class gathering to be after the disastrous*perhap jubilating for others* o lvls...which is so million miles of journey of live to be surmounted.....
��� sob sob
��� this time, onli half the class present. the next? diminishing presence? propagating absentees?
��� will we rmmber the jokes we share? the joy we embraced? the tchers we once abhored, who clings tightly upon our memory and simultaneously reminds us of our togetherness and fun of teasing the tcher...
��� this
��� just
��� wldnt
��� end
��� my
��� love
��� for
��� DG,
��� the pioneers, the winners, the champions, the highlight of tchers' gossips*cuz we are one joyful troublesome class ;)*

4diligence2003 isnt typical. it is special. thats why i love it, you too! :)

so so so....lotr isnt tt bad after all!
tot itis gonna be a dreadful tormenting 3.5 hrs....
but it proved itself to be much nicer than its first 2 other parts....
or rather, i made an effort to watch the movie...
lol...
recieved a piece of knowledge of how to enjoy lotr...
tt is to look at its "fallacious" comp effects....
the majestic building....wow....
nv have i paid such great attention to the structures and stuff....
lotr is nice indeed, though i wasnt spared from the occassional yawnings tt my sleepy brain told me to do :\

a dream of stumbling upon a blog having the same tune as mine..
syz's ai qing zhi dian...

another dream of jeanette wanting to come to my hse before going to cine...
realli dreaded her arrival in the dream, but not in real life! :)

hmm...ttz all i can rmmber of wad've attacked my drowsy, sleep-deprived brain this morn....and to be in search of my hp st after i woke up! and to find tt itis onli bout 10am when i slept at 3+!

had a haircut.
no need to pony-fy my hair anymore...
finally, surprisingly, and for the veri first time, i had no complains after a haircut.
but tt doesnt mean tt this present hairstly is nice.

blasting liang jing ru's fly away, competing against mum's oldie song....
fly away is real good, both fish's and corrine's fly away are great! ;)

im anti-social!!!
really!!
had a drudgery time at tuition just now.
yeah tuition.
gp tuition for ur info, and to let u continue ur chaffing.
im feeling veri meryl now...lol